Lady Steel Ministries

I believe in the power of story. I believe that by telling our stories to each other — and experiencing stories through the genres of drama, film, television, dance, and music — we can learn to be more creative, authentic, courageous, and compassionate people in every aspect of our lives, from home to church, from those we work with to those with whom we share our homes and our lives.

The “Value” series

Belay on: the value of support and encouragement

In American culture, our heroes — especially in film and television — have been the “strong, silent” types. Loners. However, as Julia Cameron and other authors point out, we need support and encouragement in our lives. We need people to cheer us on — and to be there for us when we fall and when we fail. This message takes the analogy of rock climbing — where climbers belay each other, providing a support and safety system — and applies it to the values of support and encouragement.

Hear what I am not saying: the value of listening

According to statistics accumulated for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, extroverts outnumber introverts three to one. Yet, as many authors have pointed out, God gave us two ears and one mouth — perhaps a hint that we should listen twice as much as we speak. But listening means a lot more than just waiting for your turn to speak. This message explores the qualities necessary for active listening, including how to provide a safe space in which the other person can be honest, how to read non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and body language, how to be a good “mirror,” and (most important!) how to welcome silence into a conversation or discussion.

HSPs: the value of sensitivity

God designed HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons) for a reason; like canaries in the mine, we HSPs are often the first to react to allergens, toxins, and other triggers in the environment before the rest of society is affected. However, our sensitivity is not limited to the physical world — we have much to offer as artists, philosophers, teachers, ministers, and even leaders. This message looks at what HSPs can teach us about the value of sensitivity in all areas of our lives.

In His image: the value of creativity

The first sentence of the Bible reads, “In the beginning, God created ….” Later, we read that God created man and woman “in His image.” If we are made in the image of God, and God is the great Creator, then we, too, are creative. This message examines the link between being creative and being made in the image of God.

Jesus wept: the value of grief

As author and speaker John Lee points out (quite correctly), American society does not value grief. Even in the greatest of losses, employees are rarely given more than a few days — perhaps a week or two at most — to grieve before returning to work. In contrast, in certain cultures, the community will take care of a family for an entire year in order to give them time to grieve. What have we lost in American society by devaluing grief? What can we do as Christians to bring value back to this essential process of mourning?

Like a child: the value of play

Do we grow up too fast? Do we encourage — or perhaps even force — our children to grow up too fast? What do we lose by setting aside the value of play for the “more important” value of work? What can we learn by returning to the world of play?

Play the fool: the value of mistakes

In American culture, we value success over failure, achievement over mistakes. Yet time and again, it has been proven that the greatest successes and discoveries often emerge from mistakes. Why, then, do we not allow more room in our society, our classrooms, even our churches, for mistakes, failures, and trial and error? This message takes a look at some lessons I learned first-hand from my own willingness to embrace failure.

Weep with those who weep: the value of emotions

In American society, we tend to value only certain emotions — and only certain expressions of emotion. Yet God gave us a wide range of emotions, and I believe that we rob ourselves of our humanity and our health (mental, emotional, physical, even social and spiritual) by repressing and denying our emotions. This message looks at our emotions and what we can learn from them.

Other topics

This is not an exhaustive list; stories can (and do) come from everywhere.

Healthy boundaries: Recovering from abuse

Anyone who has experienced abuse — regardless of the form or the source — will have boundary issues, because abuse, at its most basic, is a boundary violation. Based on my own experience with learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries, this message examines what healthy boundaries are, how to set them, and how to respect them in yourself and in others.

Redeeming the culture: Finding God in secular sources

I firmly believe that the truth about God is available for all people to find, if they are searching earnestly. I also believe that God can speak to us through any source He chooses, whether we consider it “sacred” or “secular.” This message examines how we can learn to discern the voice of God speaking through secular sources and how we can redeem those sources in His name, using them as a bridge between where they are and the truth of God’s love for them.

The valley of shadow: A different kind of death

I believe that the “valley of the shadow of death” does not necessarily refer to physical death. For me, it has often represented a different kind of death — a death of some part of my “old self,” the “false self” I created in place of the “true self” that God created me to be. As II Corinthians 5:17–18 says, “anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ” (NLT). In this message, I share lessons learned from my journeys through that valley.

Sharing my story

At the time I was born, my parents were both very new, very enthusiastic Christians. Unfortunately, however, my father had grown up with an abusive, alcoholic, womanizing stepfather. Though my father vowed he would never treat me the way he had been treated, he failed to realize that being a good father meant a lot more than not doing what had been done to him.

For one thing, he did not recognize that being a good father also meant being a good husband. On an almost daily basis, I had to listen to my father yelling at my mother, raging about everything that he saw wrong in the world. I could not invite friends over because “You don’t know what kind of a mood your father might be in.” Like many children of abuse, I learned to tiptoe around the house — and to become a perfectionistic overachiever in the hopes of avoiding his wrath.

As a result, I developed defenses, habits, and beliefs that soon began to divide the “false self” I had created in order to survive from the “true self” that God had created me to be. God, however, sent people, events, and resources into my life that helped me to hang onto that “true self” until I was old enough to shed the defenses and grow into the woman that God had made me to be.

The journey was not easy — and it still continues. Along the way, I have learned many lessons and encountered many resources that helped me to heal, recover, and grow. I believe that one of the purposes of my life is to pass along what I have learned, so that others may heal, recover, and grow into the men and women that God made them to be.